my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is wine microwaveable?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
