Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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