You smell like a Billy Joel song
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
