porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
