I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
