Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
