Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How naked do you want me to be?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
