i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
