I'm really into asian looking animals
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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