I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
