how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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