but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I can't put those talents on a resume
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
