I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
