You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
