You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
