You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
