mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
