Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
