his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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