At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
