going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
