we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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