you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
