this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
