if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
