i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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