No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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