It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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