i need an iv and a liver transplant
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Damn victory sex feels great
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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