Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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