? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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