I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
