I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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