dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
