Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
