I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
