...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
