She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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