Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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