If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
