There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's never too late to be topless.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
