toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
