that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
