It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
