just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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