You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
