First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
