Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
