My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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