My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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