i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
