So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
