I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
